//.immaroo.

what makes me happy?

your kiss. easy on my lips. your touch. fluttering my skin. your eyes. searching into my heart. what makes me happy? you.

your thoughts. giving me a new perspective. your words. singing into my soul. your movements. dancing around me. what makes me happy? you and only you.

your understanding, endurance, patience. unconditional love.

i’ll turn and you will be there.

i’ll walk and you’ll be by my side.

i’ll sway to the music and you’ll take my hand and spin me around; you’ll teach me how to dance.

i’ll grow tired and you’ll carry me.

i’ll go restless and you’ll sing me to sleep.

i’ll drown and you’ll bring me ashore.

i’ll stop breathing, and you’ll breathe for me.

what makes me happy?

that’s an easy question, you see, cause it’s you. the dreams of you. the cravings of you. everything about you.

only you.

givemeabreak.

here’s the story. [and i know i’m not alone in this experience.] i say i want something because i know it would make .thatsomeone. happy, when, really, i don’t want that something at all. but i say it anyways. i’m only questioning why. cause when .thatsomeone. turns around and does/says/wants/gives/etc. exactly what i’ve told them to do/say/want/give/etc., i’m heartbroken. isn’t that self-sabotage?

maybe it’s because i somehow wish in a twisted fashion .thatsomeone. will telepathically know what i’m telling them to do isn’t what i actually want them to do. maybe i’m hoping .thatsomeone. will realize i’m only telling them to d/s/w/g/etc. because i want to make them happy. and they’ll turn around and not to do it because they want to sacrifice his/her happiness for mine. and all of this sounds severely…[what’s the word]…selfish.

but either .thatsomeone. or i have to be selfish in the end, don’t we? if you really take a deep look at this, if .thatsomeone. chooses to d/s/w/g/etc. exactly what i’m asking/telling them to, they’re being selfish cause they aren’t thinking about what might make me happy. but i’m being selfish in being upset about them choosing it because i wanted them to want what i want.

but if .thatsomeone. sacrifices, then i’m the selfish one, cause i’m happy.

okay, what now?

Anthem]]

okay so this was for the creative writing class i’m taking. all we had to do was write for ten minutes on a subject. this time around, it was family songs. here’s what i came up with.

there is one band that unifies my sister’s and my life. one band that will pump through the speakers and bring together our untrained voices as we scream out the lyrics to every song.

i don’t necessarily like this band. i used to; but my music tastes have changed. i probably don’t like this band as much though because i’ve heard their songs on replay every time my sister and i were in the car together. it got so bad, we can actually sing all the songs on the second CD in the order the band has it on their CD. ooooh yeahh. XD

but that doesn’t matter. we’ve never cared. because, when those songs start playing, we are brought back to those lazy summer days, when nothing mattered and everything else was about having fun. life made sense and we never stopped laughing.

until the fall came. and she left for college. leaving my heart, mind, and passenger seat desolate.

so as i am sitting in my car by myself, i throw on our anthem “Bruised and Scarred” by Mayday Parade. and if i listen close enough, i can hear her singing.  

killer.

i lick her skin as she screams. i cackle as the tears roll down her face. my heated touch shoves every memory of hers into the front of her tortured mind; her life is flashing before her eyes. i find the courage to be the monster i am. i take a bite; she burns. i marvel at this newfound ecstasy pumping through my veins; quickly covered by the crowd of loved ones in my sight, tears grasping their eyes. she loses all hope of salvation. no one moves; no one says a word. her cries rise with the smoke towards the mournful sky. my creators look on with horror as they recognize her innocence. i become regretfully thankful for their shock as i move in on the rest of my prey. her wretched voice echoes through their minds as i embrace her. her tears dry and her existence begins to fade. guilt fills me and my heart breaks as i enjoy her final moments. she takes her final breath; her body is no longer human, her mind is no longer present. i hiss in frustration as they begin to dispose of me. my feast is finished. guilt radiates from them as i begin to hate myself, while the water rids me of my life. my deed is done. i lose my life after taking hers.

ode to oranges.

cold and firm. bringing me back to warm summer mornings. waking up to the sun dazzling my windows.

bright and sweet. throwing me forwards to evenings in France. walking through the marketplace, the cobblestone streets tickling my flip-flops.

leathery and juicy. holding in my hands the simplicity of love, helping the growth and the flourishment under the warm Cali sun. just to have my lips smile as the sugary juice trickles down my throat. the citrus rose lifts its scent into my nose as my mind wanders through swimming pools and sunshine, tingling nights and warm, lovely blades of the caressing carpet beneath my toes.

oh beautiful fruit. simple, sweet, delectable fruit. my tongue dances gently beneath your skin as my stomach sings for your presence. your taste soothes my day and surges energy through my veins. 

i smell your mouth-watering blood one last time as i take the final bite into your overwhelming gift of my memories.  

Virtues.

Loyalty. Honesty. And here i am, lying to you. I can’t tell you anymore other than that. I’m not sure. I don’t know. Be loyal. and faithful. Because being loyal to someone is giving them the respect they deserve. And honesty, honesty has to be the most important. Lying to someone is like saying in his/her face that he/she aren’t worth knowing about your life, therefore, they aren’t worth being in your life.

Be honest. Be loyal. Be respectful. Life isn’t worth living if you don’t have these virtues in your life.

gingasnapp322 asked: Sooooo. Why are you so pretty and stuff??

because. you’re my influence.